Good Bye Mom

This past Monday, June 7th, my mother, Sara Kathlene Sudan, died at age 88 and went to be with the Lord. She was well until April 2009 when she had a stroke which did not affect her strength but left her very confused. She stopped dialysis in January of this year and amazingly survived another 5 months. Fortunately she did not really suffer and passed peacefully. We had a beautiful memorial survice on the 12th and put her to rest. I wanted to devote this blog to honor her as an amazing mother.

Firstly she was a loving mother. I think all of her kids would testify that she was faithful and sacrificial in her love. She would listen to us for hours whether it was problems we were dealing with or what we learned in school. She and my father went to all of our sporting events and she drove us everywhere. For four years she drove my sister after school way out to the barn for horse riding and then back again to pick her up. She stuck with us when things did not always go well. When my dad basically disowned my brother because of his long hair, she kept in touch and invited him in. And when my oldest brother was in prison she faithfully went to visit him every month.

Secondly she was a true servant. She served my father for years supporting him in many ways and of course she served us as indicated above. Probably the most telling story is how she served her church, Willow Meadows in Houston. For 25 years she would take the flowers from the alter and on Mondays would divide them up into smaller arrangements and take them to members in the hospital, staying to talk and encourage them.

Thirdly she was a great grandmother. Of course she was always willing to babysit when needed. She was an acomplished seamstress and sewed most of our kid's clothes especially in the early years. She was good at keeping in touch and was especially good with my niece, writing a total of 200 letters to her over the years. Our kids loved going to visit her as she always kept goldfish in the cabinet which they loved and there was a whole closet of Barbies to play with. Then there were always the great hugs she would give.

Her life was the epitome of the American dream. She was a very proud woman and hated the fact that she grew up in very humble means as a sharecropper's daughter and having to pick cotton. She only went through the 11th grade as that was all there was at her school. In spite of this she was a very bright woman and basically educated herself. She was very attractive and actually had marraige proposals from eight different men. She always took great pride in her looks and even in her 80s dressed to kill. Of course she loved to shop and passed that trait down to her daughter and granddaughters.

I am thankful that my parents moved here to Waco 6 years ago and that I was able to spend a lot of time with my mother during those years. She was a sweet lady and a great friend and everybody loved her. She will be missed but fortunately she was a believer and she is now with Christ. She lived a long and full life and there are no regrets. So now a generation has passed and it is up to us to pass on to the next the honor of the Sudan name and the truth of the gospel.

More value

Today I was doing my usual Bible study and I have been doing Matthew this year. I was looking at chapter 12:1-8 and this is what I wrote.

b. The second situation is similar and involves a man who has a deformity which more than likely makes it difficult for him to work and make a living. This time they ask Him directly if it is lawful to heal on the Sabbath. Jesus again deflects the specific question and turns it to one of compassion. He says yes it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath. In fact it is always lawful
and we are encouraged to do good at all times. Again He shows them how disconnected their laws were from the true intent of God. They had written into the law that it was okay to pull a sheep out of a ditch (financial loophole). Jesus then states the obvious but what they had blinded themselves from, that people are much more valuable than sheep. But here is where it really hits home for us. We would instantly agree with this, as I’m sure the Pharisees would. But the real issue is when it comes down to our sheep (money) versus some poor person we do not know, do we really live like people are more valuable?

I hope you picked up on what I was trying to say and what the Holy Spirit was trying to implant into my heart. Theologically no one would really argue about the premise. But practically we often live our lives going after every lost sheep (here I mean money/possessions and not lost souls) rather than what we can do for those in this world who are hurting. He just pricked my heart with this today so I do not have it all figured out as to what He wants me to do and I would appreciate any thoughts you have as well. I also suggest you pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what He wants you to do.

Here are some early thoughts. When a bill comes up in congress do I care more about how it affects my retirement account than I do about people who are in need? Does my checkbook (or Quicken account) reflect hoarding or consistent giving to people or agencies who are working for the poor and marginalized? This has nothing to do with conservative or liberal political philosophy. Is my prayer life devoted to my needs (spouse, family, friends) or am I standing in the gap for those on the wrong side of injustice? I could go on and on but I want you to reflect on your own ideas. I hope I have not ruined your day.

A tribute - 33 and counting

This past Friday (the 21st) Luana and I celebrated our 33rd anniversary. We had a great time, nothing fancy but a lot of time together, and fortunately we still enjoy being together. So in light of this great event i thought I would post a little tribute to my wonderful wife. It may be a little difficult as my sweet daughter just did one for Mother's Day. So here it goes!

Anybody that knows the two of us would readily agree that I married over my head. Most people also wonder how she was able to stay with me for so long, especially the early years. I have matured a bit in more recent years. My siblings have forever been amazed at how she has endured me. Be that as it may, I knew early on that I had a jewel and I have not been disappointed over the years.

So what is it about her that makes her so special? She has always supported me in my decisions, has encouraged me repeatedly and has been my biggest supporter. She has allowed me to take the lead in our family and been incredibly submissive, while at the same time expressing her thoughts and ideas when needed.

Then of course she has been an incredible mother to our four children. It was just so natural for her and she loved every bit of it. And she still has such a great relationship with each of them - it is almost as if there is not enough of her to go around. It was such a blessing to me knowing that that part was taken care of. And now those same traits are coming back out as a grandmother (Mimi). Her grandkids just love their Mimi and she is happy to drive to Dallas every week or two to babysit them.

And to others she is the kind of friend everyone needs. She will listen to others for hours - she truly is able to rejoice with those who rejoice and to mourn with those who mourn. She always gives people the benefit of the doubt, thinks the best of them, does not talk bad about them and is optimistic to the end. I have never met anyone who did not like her.

I have never known someone who is as truly pure as Luana is. She loves Jesus and desires for others to do so as well. She is indeed the embodiment of the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control.She carries herself with true humility.

If I knew then what I know now, would I still marry her? In a heartbeat. I can truly say that I am a better person because of her in my life. And the more I get to know her, none of these attributes seem to diminish. It has been an incredibe ride and I praise God for bringing Luana into my life.

My job is done

This past Saturday my youngest daughter, Mary Beth, went across the stage at the Ferrell Center at Baylor University to receive her diploma and finish the task. That marks the end of formal university education for my children and also marks the end of my job as a parent. They are now all able to go out into the big wide world on their own and face the excitement and dangers that brings with it. They are all well trained and I am confident will do well in the exam of life.

Not that my job as a parent is really over. I still am Mary Beth's covering until she meets her knight and I am sure I have not doled out the last Shilling. But for the most part my job now is one of counsellor (only when asked) and encourager. Then of course there are the grandkids - that is another life in itself. Still, as I sung "That Good Ole Baylor Line" for the last time, I was nostalgic thinking that all four of my children graduated from Baylor; but then also thinking back to 33 years earlier when Luana and I walked across the stage as well ending a wonderful chapter in my life.

Climb every mountain...ford every stream...

A wet trail.

Artie crossing the river

Jason crossing the Little Missouri

A nice view from on top



Small but pretty falls

A lot of force for small falls

Jason wet from hiking in the rain

Pretty river

Fog in the early morning from a nice overlook

Jason holding our precious map

And so the song goes from the musical THE SOUND OF MUSIC. Well we did not actually climb the mountains of Austria, but we did climb over the hills of the Ouachita National Forest. Last weekend my son, Jason, and I drove to northwestern Arkansas to do a three day hike in the above mentioned forest. The hike is called Eagle Nest Loop and is 26.8 miles (basically a marathon). It is called by the local hikers the most strenuous hike in Arkansas and a real test of one's hking skills. I can certainly see why.

We started out at about 2:00 Friday and the first part is straight up and down four hills (500 - 800 ft. each). And I mean straight up - no switchbacks. It was especiaslly difficult because of all of the gear we were carrying. After finishing this part we set up camp for the night and then the sky opened and it poured all night. The next morning we started out and it continued to pour for the first two hours. Then miraculously the skies cleared and it was beautiful. This part of the hike was 15 miles along the Little Missouri River which was a bear as all of the rain had caused it to be more full than usual and it was moving fast. We had to cross it a half dozen times and in all we probably crossed 75 creeks, streams or rivers, most of them wet crossings. It was a beautiful hike with lots of running water, a waterfall, variations of pine and deciduous forests, some overlook vistas and lots of quiet conversations with my son. We finally pitched tent again, exhausted from the hike, and lo and behold, the heavens open up again with severe thunderstorms, which we later learned spawned a number of tornados. The next morning we got up to clear skies and hiked the last 8 miles back to our car, going over two more hills.

All in all it was a great time and I learned some new things about Jason. First is that he is incredibly observant. We would be walking and he would see all sorts of thing that I missed. The second thing is that he has a very keen sense of direction and is amazing at being able to follow trails. I have hiked for a lot longer but he is better at keeping on the trail and kept us from getting lost a lot of times. Then of course there were all of the other great things about him that I already knew - he is kind, compassionate, loyal, humble, lover of God. I am truly blessed by this young man.

Create in me a Clean Heart

Obviously David was speaking of the inner part of the soul, but that was my prayer this week as I was having another heart cath for recurrent chest pain. Praise God that all of my bypass grafts were completely open and that there were no new blockages. Because almost all clotting of the grafts occurs early on, this means that my vessels should remain open for a long time. For that I am grateful. The question that nags at me is what has been causing my chest pain.

So while I am thankful for the good news, I have some mixed emotions. First, I am somewhat embarrassed that there was nothing wrong and that my family came in town and friends and family were called upon to pray. One of my biggest fears is to be a hypochondriac. I really think that is one of the reasons I did not go in to get things checked out the first time around until too much time had passed. Could the pain I have been having now be due to stress? Certainly there has been some stress and I have a lot of things going on, but I really do not feel stressed and I enjoy all of the things I am involved in. Plus my pain has all been with significant exertion and stress related pain is rarely brought on by exertion.

Could it be that whatever was causing the problem was healed before my cath? Certainly God is able and there has been a lot of prayer. I guess I will know more when I start back exercising. If there is no more pain, then that would be a possibility. I would love to know because I would love to give Him all of the praise and glory. I give him praise anyway. One interesting point about that happened the week before last at lifegroup. A couple called and wanted to come and visit, but they were from Kileen. They came anyway but were very late having encountered many difficulties getting here. When they got here I was asking for prayer for my heart. After everyone else had left, they stayed and felt like the reason they were to come was to pray for me. So they prayed for me for the next hour and a half. I did not feel anything but who knows what happened. I did not even get their last name or address. Were they angels?

I guess what is hard is just not knowing. The analytical part of me likes to have everything answered and a reason for things. Unfortunately God does not always give us complete answers. That was very clear with my problem from the beginning. Why do I even have heart trouble? There is no reason in the natural. God is wanting to teach me things. My prayer all along has been that through it all He would show Himself in a new and even greater way.

I want to thank everyone who prayed for me and who gave words of encouragement and support.

The Heart of the Matter

It is closing in on one year since my heart surgery (CABG) (March 31st.) and I was going to make a post celebrating the event. I was also going to celebrate by going to Bush's Chicken since I have not had it since the surgery. Unfortunately, things have not been kind enough for all of that to occur. Starting about 4-6 weeks ago I started getting chest pain again when I would run or play tennis. It was a little hard to tell at first because your chest always hurts when you have it cracked open. I talked it over with my cardiologist and he suggested that we do a repeat cath.

I am a little bummed out about it all because I have really been a great patient. I take my medicine regularly, I eat properly and I have worked hard to get in shape and exercise often. That combined with the fact that we really don't know why I got CAD in the first place makes it hard to know what to do. I am ready to accept just about anything they may find except another surgery. Even if I have to give up tennis and running, I am ready to do that. My prayer is that I can learn what God wants to teach me, but also that I can grow more intimate with Jesus.

Everyone has been so encouraging and has been praying for me and I appreciate it immensely. I will put another post after the cath.

Enjoy the grandkid pics. They are what keeps me going.