Out there

Okay, I am going to put this out there, even before I have discussed this with Luana just so you can hold me accountable. I don't know where it will lead but I felt like the Lord spoke to me through His Word today. More on that later. For some time Luana and I have been entertaining the idea of working in Uganda full time with Tim and Janice McCall at Restoration Gateway. There really has not been any movement toward this but it has been in the back of our minds and we have kind of been waiting to hear from God. There are several things that make that decision difficult. The first of course is grandkids. We are about to have our fourth and fifth and they are an immense joy. Luana especially is crazy about them and is even more amazing as a Mimi than she was as a mom. And I feel that it is an important duty for us to pour into them and I do not take that lightly or dismiss it. The second then is our kids who are pride and joy and our delight. They are older and out of school and are all believers and certainly understand and I believe would support us in whatever we do. The third is work. It would be very difficult to leave/ abandon my patients and even moreso to leave my partners who have been incredible to work with over the past 25 years. God is going to have to do an amazing work to work all of these things out. And lastly of course is Luana's illness and to a lesser extent mine. That is the background and how it has been for the past couple of years.

Then today I was studying Matt. 14 and I will show you my thoughts and then comment on what I feel God spoke to me and how it relates to Uganda.
5. The part of the story about Peter getting into the water is very instructive on various points.
a. First of all, Peter was not convinced it was really Jesus. He needed more assurance. This already shows that his fears were still up and his faith low.
b. Then he asks Jesus to command him to walk on the water. This is not how I would have asked Him. I would have asked Him to allow me to walk on the water with Him. Why did he ask it this way? I think he needed the force of the command to give him the courage to get out of the boat. Do we see God that way as well today? We tend to feel more comfortable with rules and regulations than with relationships. We would rather follow a command than to think we could simply ask Him if we could join Him in what He was doing. What if we asked our earthly father to command us to come sit in his lap, rather than asking if we could? Which would bring more pleasure to him? The idea of a command suggests that it is not something we want to do but will do it if you command, whereas a request suggests that it is the desire of the person asking to want to do what he asks.
c. Jesus, as He so often does with us, simply says for him to come. It is an invitation for all of us to get out of the comfort of our boat (even if it is fighting the winds and waves of life) and to follow Him.

My question for myself is whether I am in essence asking God to command me to go to Uganda, making it a duty and not a joy and privilege. It puts it as a rule and regulation for me to follow. Would it not be more appropriate for me to ask God if it is okay for me (and Luana) to go and serve Him in Uganda. It may seem like a fine line but it is a world of difference to me. I am anxious to see where he leads us and we are open to whatever, even at our age. Pray for us in this regard.