Family

Okay so I know I am spoiled. Luana and I am blessed with 4 wonderful kids who love the Lord and each other. We love our sons-in-laws and our daughter-in-law and they are outstanding people. We have four grandchilren (with one more in the oven). And the really great thing is that all of them live in Dallas and all about 1 mile from each other. Last August we were able to get them all together for a trip to Washington State. This year it was not so ambitious, but we managed to all get together at our lakehouse on Cedar Creek. We had a great time except for a little illness and it reminded me just how blessed we were. I wanted to share some pics with you. Some also are from the week before as the grandkids were down in Waco and we took them to the park.

Life and Death

Campbell Isabel Ogden (Double bell or double B)


With her mom

The family of five

Campbell with "Coach"

In all of her glory

This past Monday, July 26th, my oldest daughter gave birth to her third child and first girl named Campbell Isabella Ogden. While it was an incredible time and I was overwhelmed as I always am with the miracle of new life, this birth was tempered by tragedy elsewhere. You see my good friend's daughter was also pregnant (with twins) and the day before Campbell's birth we found out she had lost both of them. There are no words to describe the pain she and her husband felt as well as both sides of the extended family. And likewise there are no answers.

Now I am not going to approach this philosophically or theologically. There are those who do that and need to do so, but this is up close and personal and I am going to treat it a such. Before you read further, don't expect to get all of the answers because I do not have them. I am only giving my thoughts based on my life experiences and my relationship with my friend and his daughter. First let me say that I am so proud of all of them for the grace and dignity with which they have handled this heartache. Fortunately they are all believers and they have pressed in to God during this time for peace and comfort. And from what I hear from the family, they have received just that. When people experience personal tragedy, they can either be angry with God and turn away from Him or they can press further into Him and experience a richness of relationship they had never experienced before. Two years ago I would have said the same thing but it would have all been theory, though based on Scripture. And two years ago I would have felt guilty that my daughter had a healthy child while my friend did not. But all of that changed last year as I went through the darkness of suffering (for those of you who do not know, read past blogs). I was able to see firsthand that God really does meet us in our time of need. He is there to comfort and He brings us peace even in the midst of it. But even moreso He brings more of Himself, a deepening of our relationship with Him and an increased sense of His presence.

Death is a different and deeper kind of suffering. It is so final. In I Cor. 15 Paul asks the rhetorical question "O death where is your sting?" and many have tried to use this to comfort people in mourning. But he is talking about the end times where death has finally been defeated. Right now death does sting and it constantly reminds us of the fallenness of this world. Having just experienced the death of my 88 year old mother a few weeks ago, I am well aware of the cycle of life. The joy of a new birth takes a little bit of the sting out of a recent death. But the death of an elderly mother who had lived a beautiful and full life is much different than the death of a child, an infant or a preborn. Thus the cycle of life makes the death of a preborn so much more difficult to handle. Where is the joy in exchange for the death? As I said, I do not have all of the answers. I only know in Whom the answers lie. In situations like this I often think that when I get to heaven I will ask God the whys, and that may yet happen. But the deeper I grow in my own relationship with Jesus the more I realize that when I get there and see Him that all of my questions will be moot.

That then brings me to the other side of the coin which is life. It is something that is sacred and should be highly valued. It is the very breath of God which He has breathed into us and is a gift from Him. Our culture has been on a relentless course of devaluing life through such things as abortion, euthanasia and some of our laws. We should never take life for granted because it is so precious and can be taken from us at any time. I never realized that as much as I did last year when I had my bypass surgery. With three 99% blockages I could easily have died during any one of many runs or tennis matches, and it was only by the grace of God that I am still alive. But at the same time we should not hold on to life too tightly. As precious as it is, it is only a foreshadowing of what is to come and this is not our true home. Paul has a good handle on this in his famous passage in Phil. chapter 1 where he says "to live is Christ and to die is gain". If we hold on to life too tightly, it can become an entrapment and essentially an idol pulling us away from God.

So in conclusion, life is special and new life is beautiful, but death is real and it can be very ugly. Our job which is a slippery prospect, is to value the former without holding on too tight while acknowledging the reality of the latter but not being fearful or like those without hope.

Out there

Okay, I am going to put this out there, even before I have discussed this with Luana just so you can hold me accountable. I don't know where it will lead but I felt like the Lord spoke to me through His Word today. More on that later. For some time Luana and I have been entertaining the idea of working in Uganda full time with Tim and Janice McCall at Restoration Gateway. There really has not been any movement toward this but it has been in the back of our minds and we have kind of been waiting to hear from God. There are several things that make that decision difficult. The first of course is grandkids. We are about to have our fourth and fifth and they are an immense joy. Luana especially is crazy about them and is even more amazing as a Mimi than she was as a mom. And I feel that it is an important duty for us to pour into them and I do not take that lightly or dismiss it. The second then is our kids who are pride and joy and our delight. They are older and out of school and are all believers and certainly understand and I believe would support us in whatever we do. The third is work. It would be very difficult to leave/ abandon my patients and even moreso to leave my partners who have been incredible to work with over the past 25 years. God is going to have to do an amazing work to work all of these things out. And lastly of course is Luana's illness and to a lesser extent mine. That is the background and how it has been for the past couple of years.

Then today I was studying Matt. 14 and I will show you my thoughts and then comment on what I feel God spoke to me and how it relates to Uganda.
5. The part of the story about Peter getting into the water is very instructive on various points.
a. First of all, Peter was not convinced it was really Jesus. He needed more assurance. This already shows that his fears were still up and his faith low.
b. Then he asks Jesus to command him to walk on the water. This is not how I would have asked Him. I would have asked Him to allow me to walk on the water with Him. Why did he ask it this way? I think he needed the force of the command to give him the courage to get out of the boat. Do we see God that way as well today? We tend to feel more comfortable with rules and regulations than with relationships. We would rather follow a command than to think we could simply ask Him if we could join Him in what He was doing. What if we asked our earthly father to command us to come sit in his lap, rather than asking if we could? Which would bring more pleasure to him? The idea of a command suggests that it is not something we want to do but will do it if you command, whereas a request suggests that it is the desire of the person asking to want to do what he asks.
c. Jesus, as He so often does with us, simply says for him to come. It is an invitation for all of us to get out of the comfort of our boat (even if it is fighting the winds and waves of life) and to follow Him.

My question for myself is whether I am in essence asking God to command me to go to Uganda, making it a duty and not a joy and privilege. It puts it as a rule and regulation for me to follow. Would it not be more appropriate for me to ask God if it is okay for me (and Luana) to go and serve Him in Uganda. It may seem like a fine line but it is a world of difference to me. I am anxious to see where he leads us and we are open to whatever, even at our age. Pray for us in this regard.

Feeding Time

I have been doing a study of Matthew and today I was looking at the story of the feeding of the 5000 and thought I would share the thoughts God gave me. Hope that it helps you as well. I also included some more pics from Uganda.

7. Here is what I see as the take home points from this:
a. Jesus was not on a schedule; He looked at needs as they came up and was not concerned about meeting His own needs.
b. Jesus invited the disciples to participate in the miraculous that He knew was coming. He did not have to do that. Likewise He often invites us to participate with Him in the work of His kingdom.
c. The disciples saw only what was physically obvious, not what was possible in the Spirit. It was not so much a lack of faith as it was just not being able or willing to look beyond the possible. We do not need Him to do the possible. Thus He works in our lives when we are weak and in desperate need. It is not fun to be in a place of need, but that is where we meet God and it is worth it in the long run.
d. All He asks of us is to bring to Him what we have and He will use that to bless us and to bless others. It does not have to be a lot and in fact He can work mightily when it is not much – He only asks that we give all of what we have and not hold back. What do you think would have happened if the disciples had held back a couple of loaves for themselves just in case; after all they deserved it didn’t they? And this refers to more than just money or food – it applies to everything we do for Him, our time, talents, giftings, ect.
e. Jesus took what they had and gave thanks from whence it came and asked the One to whom could to bless what was not enough but what was given freely.
f. He then involves the disciples again in doing His work. This is a pattern which continues for us. Jesus gives to us so that we in turn can give to others. We are not to be reservoirs of God’s grace but conduits so that it flows freely from Him to them.
g. The people ate their fill. When Jesus blesses He does not just give enough to tantalize us, but He fulfills our needs. The problem with the bread is that in a few hours they are going to be hungry again and in need of more. But Jesus offers to us Himself, the bread of life, so that in Him we will be fully and completely satisfied forever. We can abide in Him and through His Spirit live in constant communion with Him.
h. Just as Jesus needed to break the bread so that it could spread and satisfy every one, His body (the bread) had also to be broken (death on the cross) so that He could satisfy the needs of all of us (the forgiveness of sins).
i. Lastly it is interesting that He had them pick up the pieces left over, and I think He did it for reasons other to keep the ants away.
1) One was simply to not be wasteful of the resources God gives us.
2) Another is to show the disciples the overabundance of His grace for us.
3) Then I think as well He did not want people to hoard and store away the blessings of God, much like the Israelites were not to try to take more manna than they needed. For us it means that we need to stay in constant contact with Him (abide in Him, John 15) as we cannot store Him up for a rainy day.
4) Lastly was to show them that He will continue to provide for them as long as they give their all to Him.

Uganda

Yesterday we got back from our trip to Uganda and by all accounts it was an amazing time. Our purpose (which we feel was God’s purpose) was to bring the love of Jesus to the people of northern Uganda through a holistic approach. We did this by meeting their practical needs with medical care while at the same time meeting their spiritual needs through discipleship and evangelism. Here is how it went.
For the first 6 days, this was our routine. We met with the Restoration Gateway workers for devotional time at 7:30 AM and then had breakfast and met as a team for worship, devotions, vision casting and practical stuff for the day. We then had an hour or two of free time before an early lunch and then off to a local village for a medical clinic (three days in Mon Rowsh and three days in Kamdini). Dr. McCall had bought a semi truck and had it reconfigured so that its sides could be lifted up by hydraulics and we drove that to the sites and held clinic inside the truck. The first clinic was out in the middle of nowhere along a dirt path, as Dr. McCall jokingly says is 50 Km past the great commission! I was the only doctor but we had two nurses and we would see 50 – 60 patients before it got dark. There was all sorts of pathology and very challenging as we had no diagnostic capabilities. We did bring medicines and medical supplies for wounds and other needs. While that was going on, the rest of the team was busy with a lot of other stuff. They kept the throngs of people organized, had teams praying for healing (more on that later), gave testimonies, shared the gospel, played with the many kids (including soccer, face paining, teaching them songs, doing Bible story skits) and developed relationships. It was amazing to see how everybody pitched in to do their part, using their giftings and talents as none of this was scripted beforehand and we were the first to use the truck. Then, once it got dark, we hung a screen from the top of the truck and showed the Jesus film in their own language of Lwo. After a time of invitation, we would pack it all up and head back, getting in at 10:00 PM.
Needless to say that by the end of those 6 days we were exhausted but God did some amazing things which is what kept us going. Medically what we could do was limited but we were able to truly help a lot of people and they felt really blessed because we were there. Those we could not help medically or could not get to due to time constraints, we prayed for. And God was gracious as our team saw Him heal 10 – 12 people and three major healings. One was a man who had an old hip fracture and could barely walk with a crutch. He left without the crutch walking on his own and left us the crutch. Another man could not hear or talk. He left with partial hearing and speech, but even more importantly left with a new life in Christ. A third lady came in having not walked in 5 – 10 years and left able to walk with only a little assistance. Praise be to God! A number of other people gave their lives to Christ as our team shared the gospel with them. Several of our team developed relationships with some of the older teenagers who spoke English and were able to go over some discipleship lessons with them. Four of them even walked to the RG site on Sunday and wanted to be baptized which we did. The Jesus film is very powerful and after seeing it, many others responded to the gospel message (well over 100). I’m sure some were not real decisions, but we tried to get as many names as possible and Winnie from RG will be following up on them.
The last few days we slowed down a little and spent most of our time at the RG site doing various things to help them. This included working on broken equipment, shredding the grass, teaching them how to do Excel spreadsheets, developing relationships with the Ugandan workers, encouraging the long term team staff and catching the vision God has for RG and northern Uganda. Our team was really incredible. I could not have hand picked it any better. We had 5 older adults (all from out lifegroup) and 5 younger adults and we needed each one to do all that was needed, including their individual skill set. We all got along famously and nobody complained about the long hours. We reviewed the prayer points we had sent out and all were answered!!!

Good Bye Mom

This past Monday, June 7th, my mother, Sara Kathlene Sudan, died at age 88 and went to be with the Lord. She was well until April 2009 when she had a stroke which did not affect her strength but left her very confused. She stopped dialysis in January of this year and amazingly survived another 5 months. Fortunately she did not really suffer and passed peacefully. We had a beautiful memorial survice on the 12th and put her to rest. I wanted to devote this blog to honor her as an amazing mother.

Firstly she was a loving mother. I think all of her kids would testify that she was faithful and sacrificial in her love. She would listen to us for hours whether it was problems we were dealing with or what we learned in school. She and my father went to all of our sporting events and she drove us everywhere. For four years she drove my sister after school way out to the barn for horse riding and then back again to pick her up. She stuck with us when things did not always go well. When my dad basically disowned my brother because of his long hair, she kept in touch and invited him in. And when my oldest brother was in prison she faithfully went to visit him every month.

Secondly she was a true servant. She served my father for years supporting him in many ways and of course she served us as indicated above. Probably the most telling story is how she served her church, Willow Meadows in Houston. For 25 years she would take the flowers from the alter and on Mondays would divide them up into smaller arrangements and take them to members in the hospital, staying to talk and encourage them.

Thirdly she was a great grandmother. Of course she was always willing to babysit when needed. She was an acomplished seamstress and sewed most of our kid's clothes especially in the early years. She was good at keeping in touch and was especially good with my niece, writing a total of 200 letters to her over the years. Our kids loved going to visit her as she always kept goldfish in the cabinet which they loved and there was a whole closet of Barbies to play with. Then there were always the great hugs she would give.

Her life was the epitome of the American dream. She was a very proud woman and hated the fact that she grew up in very humble means as a sharecropper's daughter and having to pick cotton. She only went through the 11th grade as that was all there was at her school. In spite of this she was a very bright woman and basically educated herself. She was very attractive and actually had marraige proposals from eight different men. She always took great pride in her looks and even in her 80s dressed to kill. Of course she loved to shop and passed that trait down to her daughter and granddaughters.

I am thankful that my parents moved here to Waco 6 years ago and that I was able to spend a lot of time with my mother during those years. She was a sweet lady and a great friend and everybody loved her. She will be missed but fortunately she was a believer and she is now with Christ. She lived a long and full life and there are no regrets. So now a generation has passed and it is up to us to pass on to the next the honor of the Sudan name and the truth of the gospel.

More value

Today I was doing my usual Bible study and I have been doing Matthew this year. I was looking at chapter 12:1-8 and this is what I wrote.

b. The second situation is similar and involves a man who has a deformity which more than likely makes it difficult for him to work and make a living. This time they ask Him directly if it is lawful to heal on the Sabbath. Jesus again deflects the specific question and turns it to one of compassion. He says yes it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath. In fact it is always lawful
and we are encouraged to do good at all times. Again He shows them how disconnected their laws were from the true intent of God. They had written into the law that it was okay to pull a sheep out of a ditch (financial loophole). Jesus then states the obvious but what they had blinded themselves from, that people are much more valuable than sheep. But here is where it really hits home for us. We would instantly agree with this, as I’m sure the Pharisees would. But the real issue is when it comes down to our sheep (money) versus some poor person we do not know, do we really live like people are more valuable?

I hope you picked up on what I was trying to say and what the Holy Spirit was trying to implant into my heart. Theologically no one would really argue about the premise. But practically we often live our lives going after every lost sheep (here I mean money/possessions and not lost souls) rather than what we can do for those in this world who are hurting. He just pricked my heart with this today so I do not have it all figured out as to what He wants me to do and I would appreciate any thoughts you have as well. I also suggest you pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what He wants you to do.

Here are some early thoughts. When a bill comes up in congress do I care more about how it affects my retirement account than I do about people who are in need? Does my checkbook (or Quicken account) reflect hoarding or consistent giving to people or agencies who are working for the poor and marginalized? This has nothing to do with conservative or liberal political philosophy. Is my prayer life devoted to my needs (spouse, family, friends) or am I standing in the gap for those on the wrong side of injustice? I could go on and on but I want you to reflect on your own ideas. I hope I have not ruined your day.